Monday, June 7th, 2010

Our Deepest Fear

by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

There’s roughly a billion penises out there eager to bone you

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

I think that is the best advice that anyone has anyone given me. This breaking up shit is…difficult. A million thoughts going through my head, going over every word every action. I am trying to keep my head in a positive place and remember why this is best, remember that my life doesn’t stop here. I can’t stop thinking that I failed. If I had just trusted more, had just believed… But the fact is that I never believed because I knew better. I knew that while he would try, he couldn’t be who I needed.

Saturday, June 5th, 2010

I can’t remember the direct quote but I heard something once that says that failure is not what we are most afraid of. What we are most afraid of is succeeding.

I always knew that being close to someone was going to be difficult. The fact is I’m terrified of being that close to someone; how then would I hide the parts of me I don’t like? TERRIFIED. And when the possibility of this came around…I was a mess. A WRECK. I assumed the worst.

Now, I know that I cannot take responsibility for all that has happened. I would like to be with someone who makes me feel comfortable and secure, not leaves me hanging to guess and basically continually freak out. The drama, the back and forth, i was so worn out from trying to be strong, I think I cracked a little.

Perhaps a little faith and trust might have helped? A little confidence? Of this, I have always been lacking.