So everything’s in place. Got my visa, got a plane ticket. Apparently I’m really going back to Ecuador. Trying to keep my head in a good place with this deal with Shy Guy although becoming increasingly difficult with it getting closer. To make matters worse, I heard a pretty safe rumour that some Danish girl is trying to make her move on him. Fan-fucking-tastic. Apparently he’s not that into it but it’s still intimidating and makes me insecure. She’s way hotter than me. I cannot imagine why anyone would rather be with me over someone else anyway so this just makes it more difficult.
I am sure that I will have to deal with a lot of this when the time comes and I’m really kind of worried and pre-depressed over it. (i totally do that, i get pre-depressed over situations, assuming the worst will happen.)
There are just so many things that could go wrong. What if I’m misunderstanding him and he’s not really into me. What if he changes his mind or pulls one of his “freakouts” which is totally possible.
Well, lots of things can happen. But… I decided to ball up and take a risk, for MYSELF, no one else and this, I suppose, is a part of it. I can let situations like this make me weak or I can hold my shit together and take whatever comes. I can be bigger than this. Argggg…
